Swearers' resource

We all need a store cupboard of words to use at appropriate moments. I humbly offer some that I have picked up.

I offer a combo: "fuckitty fuck" as a jolly combo. It is to be used to express disappointment, annoyance, irritation or pain, in place of a standard "fuck". "Fuckitty fuck" is ideal to express mild disappointment as it unfolds.

Compare and contrast:-

Situation 1

You are barbecuing and decide to pick up a sausage right of the grill. That little chipolata is of course red hot and burns your fingers so much that you drop it.

Situation 2

You are late for an important engagement. You have, for some reason, decided to go by train. You are a tad late getting to the station and so have to run like a crazy bastard to get to the platform. After running like a fool through the entire station and nearly giving yourself heart failure in the process you reach the platform; only to see the train doors closing and it moving off.

Correct Application

Situation 1.

"Fuckitty fuck" has two qualities that lend itself to incidents of this nature:

1. The "itty" adds a percussive, rhythmic quality to a bog standard fuck. Much like a drum stick hitting a drum skin produces a sound from the drum skin so does the hot sausage bouncing about in your hands "oo ah fuckity..fuck..fuck...fuckitty, fuck, fuckitty..fuck..fuck...fuck". And as the sausage drops the floor you can finish with a final "fuckitty, fucking, fuck".

2. "Fuckitty" has a jolly quality which means it can be employed in social situations where children or the elderly may be present.

Very genteel ladies/high class types, may find "fuckitty" a liberating and useful word, which allows the exploration of a good standard "fuck" in a socially acceptable manner, on a regular basis.

Situation 2

A straight "fuck" is the only option. A single "fuck" has a simple, finality that matches the finality of your situation: train has gone. Not only that if you have just legged it through a station your lungs will only be able to manage a "fuck" any way.

Get fit you lazy twat.